A Turn for His Best...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways... As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

This is my favorite hymn, and even though it's my heart's cry daily, I especially claim it as my prayer tonight.

Be thou my Vision, 

O Lord of my heart.

Naught be all else to me, 

save that thou art.

Thou my best thought, 

by day or by night.

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence

My Light

Be thou my Wisdom,

and thou true Word.

I ever with Thee,

and Thou with me, Lord.

Thou my great Father,

and I Thy true son,

Thou in me dwelling,

and I in Thee one.

Be Thou my battle-shield,

sword for my fight.

Be Thou my Dignity,

Thou my Delight.

Thou my soul's shelter,

Thou my high Tower.

Raise Thou me heavenward,

O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not,

nor man's empty praise.

Thou my inheritance 

now and always.

Thou and Thou only

first in my heart.

High King of Heaven,

my treasure, Thou art.

HIgh King of heaven,

Thy victory won.

May I reach heaven's joys,

O bright heaven Sun.

Heart of my own heart,

whatever befall,

Still be my Vision,

O Ruler of all.

It seems like the last seven hours has been the length of days. So much has been said, so much has been given... and so much has been taken away. I honestly am not sure how to proceed, except by just trusting Him - moment by moment. I never thought that I would be left this... down. I didn't realize the impact one individual could have on my life and on my heart... I know God doesn't take away things to hurt us and destroy us. He takes away so that he can give to us abundantly. I think I know exactly how life should look, all my ducks are neatly aligned in my mind for my future. And yet God says.. Wait, Ally. Your thoughts are not mine. 

Well, Lord... I'm going to trust You. And seriously? Now would be a great time to be able to fake happiness. 

Whether I like it or not,  I don't have it in me to be that way. I guess that's okay, too. God designed me to be transparent. And praise God for that. It's of His grace that He's made me to be. But I hate it right now.. I'm so confused and doubtful. I'm extremely fearful and anxious about what lies ahead. But God calls His children to follow Him blindly. He is our light that guides. 

Let me abide with You. 

A dear friend of mine sent me a verse tonight that brings me incredible encouragement... And I find that it has truth in it... And joy.

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36

Hmm... I wish to write so much more. But I think that I need to lay this at His feet. And just rest. 

This next year better go by fast...

Ally