This weekend I’ve been rethinking my past a lot. I guess from my blog last night, you got a glimpse of it. Even though the battle for my identity is on every day, I don’t dwell on it every day. I subconsciously push it away. I realize that I am free in Him and I don’t have to dwell on my past. I can look forward, being complete in Jesus. But it’s good to revisit things. It’s good for me to feel the feelings I used to endure, even if but for a few moments, because it confirms how much greater I am now in Him. But yet, it’s not the funnest thing to revisit. The emotions come back strong, the memories are scary to absorb. I just don’t really like it.
This morning, we talked about weakness in sunday school. A topic that’s hard for me to grasp. I seek to be strong and confident. I want to be the one people come to when they are weak. Not have to rely on people when I am weak. It’s something God breaks me of regularly now. And I am thankful, I am. But my flesh.. the Ally who believes she doesn’t need Jesus.. keeps fighting God constantly. I hate saying “I need help.” I hate it. With a passion.
But it’s because I actually really long for help.
Am I alone in this boat? Do other christians struggle with this same thing? Or people who don’t believe in a god. Do you struggle with this too? I want to know, tell me I’m not crazy. That it’s ok to struggle with things. It’s ok to be weak. It’s ok to be in need.
Love.
Love is acting out trust.
Love is faith.
Love is patience.
Love is weakness.
Love is reliance on Him.
Love is hungering for more.
More trust.
More faith.
More patience.
More weakness.
More Jesus.
Because...
When I am weak. When Ally is empty and frail.
Jesus Christ is strong.
And it’s ok to be weak. It shows me how much I need Him. Daily. Hourly. Moment by moment. I need You.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
Ally
Ally
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