Today, I've been thinking about God.
Funny.
Shouldn't I be doing that all the time?
Yeah...
After working out this morning, a poem came to mind by one of my favorite christian writers, Amena Brown. Side note: check her out. She's insanely passionate about the Lord, and I'm sure this won't be the last time I blog about one of her pieces. While getting ready this morning, one line from this specific poem kept coming back to my mind. I'll let you guys take a look.
"You"
By: Amena J. Brown
You find me when I'm hiding behind all my disguises/You see me/It takes you to keep me breathing/You are heart/Passion/Vision/Word Incision/You send me and you bring me close/Close close closer/Until when you look at me you see you/You are heavenly/My present and future destiny/You are Father/Creator/Sustainer/Life changer/Pride breaker/You are yesterday today and forever/You are pleasure/You are worth/Reason/Present in every season/You are worship/Devotion/You are the reason for all my commotion/You are the one that I pray to/You can tell that I'm nothing without you/So awesome that I can pray to you about you/To know you/To sense you/To believe you more/To love you more/To obey you more/To give you more of my heart
Oh God search me/Know me/See me/Examine me/Test me/Love me/ Watch me/Protect me/ Show me/ Investigate me/ Be pleased with me/Question me/ Keep me/ Change me/ Have me/ Correct me/ Take me/ Help me/ Create in me/ Break in on me/ Be my reality/ Sustain me/ Decrease me/ Decrease me/ Decrease me/Decrease me/ Until there is no me left/ Only you/ Only you/ Only you
You are light/ Are true/ Are you/ Are hope/ Are love/ Are strength/ Are escape rescue safe/ You are peace/ You are belief/ You are advance and retreat/ Of what, to what, to whom can I compare you?/ You are my all things new/ You are my place of refuge/ You are my fortress/ My rest/ My creativity in the strength of your words to me/ You are my ability to see hear feel move live breathe be/ You are life and death all at the same time/ You are friend/ You are believer savior redeemer/ You are today tomorrow and the next day/ And the next day and the next day and the next day/ You are truth/You transcend old age and youth/ You are timeless/ priceless/ lightness in darkness/ greatness/ goodness/ sinless/ And in a mess like my life you see righteousness/ You leave me speechless/ You alone are God.
My favorite part? The part where she completely diminishes herself with a hunger for more of Jesus.
"Oh God search me. Know me. See me. Examine me. Test me. Love me. Watch me. Protect me. Show me. Investigate me. Be pleased with me. Question me. Keep me. Change me. Have me. Correct me. Take me. Help me. Create in me. Break in on me. Be my reality. Sustain me....
Decrease me.
Until there is no me left.
Only You."
And after that, she goes right into the unfathomable attributes of God. Light. Truth. Hope. Love. Strength. New beginnings. Refuge. Fortress. Rest. Creativity. Life. Death. Friend. Believer. Savior. Redeemer. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. Timeless. Priceless. Lightness. Greatness. Goodness. Sinless.
And for some incredible reason.. He sees righteousness in ME.
How INSANE is that?
Going throughout the day thinking about Him is mind-boggling. It never could get old because daily I discover new things about Him. And dude. That is beyond cool. The fact that He allows me to be apart of Him, to know Him, to love Him, to work for Him, to abide in Him...
It humbles my being. It humbles me so much... I think. Wow. I am completely unworthy. And so dependent upon Him for every aspect of life. And yet I take Him completely for granted. How can I do that? How can I slap Him in the face?
My desire. My plea. God, break me of me.. Replace me. Break me away so that you can dwell in my mere body, living in and through me. Reside in every part of me. Let my eyes be Yours. Let my feet be Yours. Let my tongue be yours. Let my arms be Yours. Let my mind be Yours.
Absorb every portion of me with You.
Seriously. I want this heart so much. But my heart is so fickle. I'm just like Paul described himself when he wrote he does what he doesn't want to do, but doesn't do what he should do. I struggle with this without ceasing. And sometimes I find myself so frustrated with myself because of it. Why can't I give up all my wants? My goals and plans? Do I really have a legit excuse?
Duh. Of course not.
He is changing me though. And every day (usually), it get's easier to pick up my goals, hopes, wants, fears and follow Him. I guess that's what life is about though. An adventure with my Big Pops. And when I have a hard time keeping up, He comes back and meets me where I'm at. He's so cool. =]
Time for some chow with the twins.
Ally
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