Today has been one of my more frustrating days this week. I'm to the point with my classes where I have lost my desire to try. Not academically, but relationally. I'm frustrated because I hear so many voices airing what they think is eligible truth and when questioned, the only reason they state is well, that's just what I believe.  But then again, I am left with the reality that most christians (meaning those who only profess christianity) are as guilty as those who don't. Christians do the same thing as nonbelievers by saying they believe what they believe because, well, that's just what they believe. Can someone step up, though, and proclaim the origin of their belief? Are we that reliant upon those around us to be satisfied with that cop-out reply? I can't help but be disturbed by the fact that those who profess christianity are professing Christ, not a mere religion. Am I the only one disturbed by this? In the act of professing Christ, they are professing His character, His heart. The early Church who 'established' christianity never had the intention of creating a title just so people could belong to a social group. 

I suppose the real reason I am frustrated is because we're missing the point. People try to elaborate the truth, making it out to be some complex thing. But the fact is, truth is the most simplistic concept one could ever grasp. The truth is Jesus Christ. All truth is found in Him and through Him. How does that look? How does it play out? Search for those answer. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 "Test everything. Hold on to the good."



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A couple of days ago, I went as a sponsor to a high school christian leadership conference. While there, I had an opportunity to talk with the main speaker. We basically talked for only 15 minutes. He asked me a couple questions about what I think on certain issues, and then I replied with my answers. While we were speaking with one another, I couldn't help but realize how much I needed our conversation. You know that saying, you never know what you got 'till it's gone? That basically sums up the spiritual fellowship aspect of my life right now. For some odd reason, God's stripped me away from my close, godly fellowship throughout this last year. I never quite realized how deep my dependency on those friends were until we no longer had that spiritual unity amongst us. But now they're gone. And now I have realize how much I require spiritual companionship. I spoke with Mom about this yesterday. I spent numerous minutes complaining to her about these discouragements, and after I was finished, she did what moms are notorious for doing: she said exactly what my heart needed to hear. Although I'm not sure what the name of it is, there is a flower that requires a lot of maintenance for it to fully reach its potential. Apart from the normal watering, weeding, and doing all that other stuff gardeners do, this flower requires a lot of pruning. Actually, it requires so much pruning so that basically afterward, all that is left of the flower is a mere stem. Every part of the flower, even the pedals and the leaves are cut away in the process. This immense grooming is required because it is through the pruning that the best of the flower has the ability to display itself--without all the blemish that the old leaves and pedals left. The full potential of the flower cannot help but expose itself because there is nothing left hinder it from blossoming. 
In that analogy, Mom pointed me to the fact that even in this 'pruning' stage of life, God is still at work, and He has a purpose in it all. He is stripping me of what I cling to, in all its entirety. From friends, abilities, comfort, to physical strength,  and earthly accomplishments. I get frustrated at times (as I am frustrated right now) because God only sheds enough light on my 'path' so that I can take one step at a time. I know He does it so that I am in constant dependence on Him. I can't help but question, though, what lies ahead. And can't help but wonder when He may choose to resupply my spiritual fellowship. Well (ha), I can help it, just as I can help how I feel about the relationships with my classmates. Life is process, right? I need reminding of this, at times. God is God, I am not. He is holy, I am not. I know I have written out most of these verses before in my previous posts, but I'm going to write them again because I think God's word is worth repeating. 


Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2


The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14


Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4


"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9


But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11


God is mighty, but does not despise men; he is mighty and firm in his purpose. Job 36:5


Does any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, O LORD our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this. Jeremiah 14:22


Those who know your name, will trust in you, for you, O LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10


Be joyful always. 1 Thessalonians 5:16


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:4-5


Sigh. Here I am venting once again. But, I appreciate you for reading this, whoever you may be. God is faithful, even in Ally's unfaithfulness, or more specifically, Ally's frustration. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever. 


Ally