Tune My Heart..

It's been a fun and exciting couple of days here in the ville. I think it's finally set in that it's summer. It only took me two weeks. I'm kind of digging the whole going to bed mega late and sleeping in until I wake up. At least for now. It's nice being able to relax for an extended amount of time. I think it's been too long since the last time I have done that.. I forgot how refreshing it is. I should be careful, though, because I may start getting too lazy and not get anything done. That long summer goals list ain't gonna get itself done.


I'm listening to some worship music as I write, and I keep pausing to listen to the words. Smile. Sometimes the best worship is just to listen and soak in truth, and not actively participate in verbal worship. Moments of peace He gives... and I love them. It's great how God brings peace and spurts of excitement at the randomest moments. I feel like I enjoy them more that way. I don't ask for them, He just lovingly gives. Yeah. I find out more about God's heart as time goes on. It's neat that as He points me to things in the bible, the people He brings in my life.. the trials He allows.. they all are like reflections of God's character, faithfulness, and nature. How blessed am I to have this simple chance to listen to worship music? Or to freely read God's word in public? Or even write a blog on the internet naming Jesus as Lord. 
Hehe, I love it.


So, this one song I'm listening to right now rocks my world. I'll let you in for a listen.


"The Earth is Yours" Gungor

Your voice it thunders
The oaks start twisting
The forest sounds with cedars breaking
The waters see You and start their writhing
From the depths a song is rising

Now it’s rising from the ground

Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy Lord
The earth is Yours and singing
Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy Lord
The earth is Yours
The earth is Yours

Your voice it thunders
The ground is shaking
The mighty mountains now are trembling
Creation sees You
And starts composing
The fields and trees they start rejoicing.

Now it’s rising form the ground
It’s rising from the ground
Hear us crying out
Hear us crying out

Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy Lord
The earth is Yours and singing
Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy Lord
The earth is Yours
The earth is Yours
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Simple worship songs like these I never grow tired of.  


One thing I've been thinking about as I sit here is what God wants from me this summer. I mean.. the details. Like, I have ideas. But I don't have exact direction. I know He wants me to love on a hurting girl and to keep pouring into this bible study group. But apart from that? I'm not entirely sure. And you know, maybe that's a good thing! Maybe that's the way He wants it be be continued as. But given that I don't like such an open pallet before me, I start to question His will. Is that bad? No.. I don't think so. I mean, it definitely has the potential to be negative. But I also think that God uses our moments of doubt to assure us of Himself. Like I kind of wrote above, He provides right when we least expect Him to. 
It's just incredible.
I suppose I am digging this whole spontaneous thing. It's cool not having plans, too, because I know God can do His thing without Ally's agenda getting in the way. On the other hand though, I'm kind of saddened that I'm sort of alone on this one. I'm not alone, this I know. But I'm not in a situation.. like at Hidden Acres counseling, or on a missions trip with other vibrate believers.. I'm kind of just doing my thing with a bunch of high school and jr. highers in a small little Missouri town. At times--especially this week--I find myself a little disappointed that I'm not surrounded by christians who share my mindset. I have incredible friends.. but the passion and zeal? Kind of lacking. I just think about the what ifs about this summer. Like, what if God decided I could counsel at HA. I could be at staff training right now with people I love and miss, being united in service. Or, what if the door wasn't closed to the Omaha internship? Or a summer spent in Peru?  


I shouldn't even be asking the 'what ifs.' 


I just got off the phone with a hurting friend. She reminded me that God works through the most devastating circumstances. He makes beautiful things out of dust. She also reminded me that He is making beautiful things. He's not finished with His work in me. Or through me. I mean.. I'm just a mere person, struggling from day to day. But for some reason, He's allowing me a spot in His servant's quarters. 
And she's the one who's hurting. Yet God's using her to speak to me. How is it that God does stuff like that? I was introduced to this song today.. I think it speaks the words my hands can't express through writing.


"You Are" Tenth Avenue North

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are
The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are
You are

Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are
The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are
You are.

I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart

Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are
The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are
You are

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I guess.. this should be what I'm praying for. Not for details to this summer's events. Just for less of Ally. 


I think I'm going to bed now. Father.. take me apart.