Up until now, I've always wondered what it would be like to be where I am. And it's funny, because I've been dreaming about what it would be like most of my life. My dreams couldn't scratch the surface of what it's actually like, though. It's almost odd, but every day the reality sinks in more... This is actually where I am, this is actually what God has laid before me. I couldn't really explain to you the extent of what it's like, except to say that I know only an incredible and personal God could create it. Beyond every thrill that I feel right now, what brings me the most joy is knowing God is being glorified within this. It's not that He isn't glorified without it, but He created this to bring a specific joy to Himself. Daily my mind is blown as I am more captivated by His leading hand. I've been told in the past that I should feel a loss of control when this happens, and I can't deny that I do. It's an odd type of feeling, though. In the midst of losing control, I have gained complete security.
To ask whether or not I could live without this would be irrelevant, because I know that I could. It is He who supplies. The more important thing is that He has supplied. He's given me this. It is as if I have been handed a porcelain treasure. I must hold and cherish it as long as it is within my care. I pray that is what others will see.
I am challenged to want Him more through this, too. I am drawn more to Jesus. In fact, I think I am more in love with Jesus now than before He brought this into my life. It amazes me that such a beautiful thing is a mere particle of the actual beauty God has in store for eternity with Him. It will be beyond what I experience now, vastly beyond.
Man, God. You're incredible.
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11
Ally
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